When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
