Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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