i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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