she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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