Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
