I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
