you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
