puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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