I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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