I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize