like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
