I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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