I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
