This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
