separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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