I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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