I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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