His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Acid is not a monday night drug
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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