Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
