before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
