somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
