Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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