Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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