yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I did not marry a roomba.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
