don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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