please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
