wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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