Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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