I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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