I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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