ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
