woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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