I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
