Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
