It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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