Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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