that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize