I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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