Duck Duck Cougar?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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