Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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