I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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