It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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