Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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