Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
