i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
