Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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