Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
