Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
