If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
