eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
