I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
only you would photoshop your dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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