You can't motorboat a personality
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
