she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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