Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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