Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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