I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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