Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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