ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
