can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
