He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
