8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
