i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
