Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
