I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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